The Day He Went Away by Jennifer Millikin

The Day He Went Away is an emotionally gripping story of love, loss, and finding a way to move on.

Kate and Ethan are friends who lived across the street growing up, and have been the best of friends for twenty years.  Just before the party for their 16th birthday, Ethan confesses to Kate that his feelings are more than just “best friends.”

There is a boy, And he loves a girl
She doesn’t love him back, He doesn’t care
One day she will love him
Until then, he waits

And wait he does.  Ten years later, Kate is anxiously awaiting Ethan’s return for a leave from duty in the military.  She’s finally decided her feelings match his, and for the first time they will be together as more than friends.  Ethan is ecstatic, and they spend his nine-day leave making plans for their life together after his military duty is completed in 10 months.  When tragedy occurs and Ethan is killed in Afghanistan, the bottom falls out of Kate’s perfectly orchestrated world.

Grief is a very independent thing, and no two people are going to mourn a loved one’s loss the same way.  Unfortunately, Kate partakes in destructive behavior, pushes people away, and has an unsympathetic roommate/”friend” who is awful to her.  She continues on a downward spiral until Nick – Ethan’s best friend from the Army – starts fulfilling his promise to Ethan to watch after Kate if something happens to him.

A good portion of this story is gut wrenching.  Reading how hopeless Kate feels after losing her future was so emotional.  But watching her, slowly, come back to life through the efforts of Nick was uplifting.  As Nick gently urges Kate to step out of her comfort zone and build a new life, with a different future, you feel hopeful for Kate’s chances to have a happy life.  With Nick by her side, she finally feels like she has an ally in her grief.  

Shared grief is half the sorrow.

I can’t think of too many other books that made me feel so raw, but then pulled me up, leaving me feeling hopeful.  I generally like books to have more of a happy-ever-after ending as opposed to the happy-for-now conclusion The Day He Went Away gave us, but the more I think about it I believe the way it ended was for the best.  And while I was a little nervous about the writing because of the way the first couple of chapters with Kate’s inner dialog began (repeating the same things over and over), I was so pleased that once other characters were brought in, that stopped.  

Ms. Millikin has written an emotionally compelling story, the effects of which are still with me several days after reading it. I am frequently brought to tears when I read, but I don’t often continue to think about a story after I’ve finished it.  I loved how flawed Kate became, I loved Nick and his dogged determination to keep a promise, I loved the growth of the characters.  I despised the “friends” who weren’t really friends.  Even though this story was tough on the emotions, I’m so glad I read it!

*a free copy of this book given by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review